The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men...

But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain;
The best-laid schemes o' mice an 'men
Gang aft agley,
An'lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

Still thou art blest, compar'd wi' me
The present only toucheth thee:
But, Och! I backward cast my e'e.
On prospects drear!
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I guess an' fear!

Feb 5th, all was right with the world.  Feb 6th, we had our visit with our social worker to update our soon-expiring homestudy.  Feb 7th, I was calling for prayer!  How quick and unsuspecting a little piece of news (or a plow) can change things.  Where your focus is on your future plans, now it drastically takes a turn to the here-and-the-now!  Survival becomes the only thing you can deal with.  Emotionally drained and unbelievably fearful, we began to fight to save all we have known to be true, and even there did questions arise.  Like a tornado spinning out of control...but did we even see storm clouds?  I don't think I saw them.  I was only seeing blue sky and then BAM!  What the enemy hit us with knocked us both for a loop.  But Jesus stepped in and picked us up.  Slowly, He has dusted us off, and we are again proceeding to the finish line, slowly, surely, when BAM!!!  Another hit, but this time it was supposed friendly fire!  Hmmmm...Houston, I think we have a problem!  But you know what?  This time, I refuse to fall... see the first hit taught me a lesson!  Jesus is standing by my side!  He has strengthened me into a strong, Christ-dependent woman!  I will not give heed to fear, nor to doubt!  I will stand my ground and fight for what I know God has promised!  I will not be moved by this attack.  I will stand knowing Jesus has my back.  He is my shield and my strong tower, He is my strength, my hope, my deliverer!  I'm hanging onto the Rock, and the Rock is hanging onto me!!!  He never lets go!

Still chomping...

So, all of the paperwork is done for our updated home study!  FBI Fingerprint results are back...just need to copy and send all of the originals to New Beginnings.  Olevia will be here tomorrow at 4 for the required visit to complete the update and then just wait for the Home Study to be reissued.  This process has been fairly quick!  (Gee, I think that's a first!)
We had a surprise when we got home today from my parents.  I took the dogs out for a walk and found 5 adorable puppies in our pasture.  No idea where they came from.  Asked a few neighbors, but no one is claiming them.  Anyone want a really adorable dog?  Looks like they have been well cared for and they are very clean.  One in particular loves to snuggle at your neck...ok, might have to keep that one!  Rita and Lera want a dog they can train.  Of course, we have Max, but he's about 7 and set in his ways.  Then there is Bella, but she is more 'my' dog I've been informed.  So, I've got 4 pups to give away...unless I can find the owner.  Can't afford 5 more dogs!
We have skyped all weekend with Rita and Lera.  Their Foster Mom also facebooked me to let me know that the girls have 'agreed to endure each other' for adoption.  They really are close, but I think the little green monster raises it ugly head as they are vying for their position in our family.  Rita said she would like to go to Vet Camp but Lera doesn't...so I mentioned that we would drop Rita off at 9 and pick her up at 5 and Lera and I would go find something to do.  Rita quickly said she wanted to go hang out with us!  It took a little pursuading to get her to agree to Vet Camp again.  I really see this as a great opportunity for Rita to have a role model who is achieving what she wants to do...be a Vet.  The Vet students are the camp counselors and the professors teach the sessions.  It will give her an opportunity to see if this is something she would really like to do, and if so, hopefully give her motivation to improve her school work.  Rita is extremely bright, but I think right now, she is lacking motivation, or vision, or confidence.  ??? 
We have had some wonderful conversations this weekend.  Rita is sick again and now running fever in addition to the stuffy nose.  I had sent a bottle of Robitussin back to Latvia with her after their FM asked if I could send some medicine that actually works.  They used to be able to buy 'Toclase' and she said it worked great; then, they took it off the shelf and all they have now are sugary syrups that don't work for cough or cold symptoms.  She said she doubted the Robitussin would help, but she also has the same cold that Rita has, and after using Robitussin, she said she needed to apologize and asked if I could bring more when we come!  I told Rita she needed to take some medicine, but she said it wouldn't work on her.  I told her it would stop the runny nose that is draining down her throat, into her lungs and stomach, and making her sicker.  She laughed and said I should be a doctor!  Lera got the Robitussin and Rita took it!  Hopefully she will get a good nights sleep. I guess she will miss another day of school tomorrow.  Her attendance has been really bad since returning to Latvia.  I don't know what to do about that...
They are now consistantly calling me mommy!  It is very sweet to hear and read.  This is a huge step that they have taken.  Lera also has requested a tutor for her English!!!!!  Soooo HUGE!!!!  Maybe by the time we get there, she will be willing to speak to us?  That would be so awesome!  I can't wait to have a real conversation with this child and see what is really in her heart!  Her eyes are the windows to her soul, but out of her mouth her heart will flow.  Can't wait! 
A fellow NHFC family has been very heavy on my heart this weekend.  They are in the process of adopting the two little gypsy girls we had initiated a referral for, but we withdrew after discussing them with some previous host families.  I knew they were beyond what I could manage, but my heart was so enamoured by them and I felt very led to continue praying for them.  I was so excited when I met the family that was hosting them this summer and again to find they were adopting them.  Now, while on their 1st trip to Latvia, the adoption has fallen through because of deception and confusion.  My heart breaks for the family and for the girls as they give up their chance of breaking free from this orphan spirit and coming into the spirit of adoption..  This is the fear I think every family and every child faces while in this process....will they back out?  Will they forget us?  Will they leave us too?  Not only are these emotions experienced by the child, but these are thoughts that are always in the back of my mind.  I'm thankful that Rita and Lera have pledged their committment to 'agree to endure' each other.  But I know it only takes one misconception, one person whispering lies in their ears, one deceiving spirit, and it can all fall apart.  I never thought in my wildest dreams that Emily would have said 'no'!  But, she did.  We almost punted this whole adoption thing, but I didn't want Emily to give up, and realized I couldn't give up either... And that led us to Rita, who led us to Lera!  And now we have an ever growing family tree with branches in Georgia, Virginia, New York, and Latvia...with every family who has loved these girls!  But, I won't feel secure until trip 2 is complete, knowing those concerns can turn into reality.  My heart hurts for you, Tabby! 
I wonder what the week of Feb 5th will hold for us?  Will we get word that the Fletchers' Dossier has been received in the Children's Ministry?  Will we get our referral this week?  Those are the next two steps... All of the families who got their referrals in January have now received their travel dates for late Feb- mid March.  Come on....we are ready for the gate to open so we can RUN!  We're tired of chomping at the bit!

Updates abound...but it's all good!

How does that song go..."you put your left foot in, you take your left foot out; you put your left foot in, and you shake it all about; you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around.  That's what it's all about!"  Well, one thing...I'm learning to take 'news from Latvia' with a little less fretting and a lot more action!  So, last week, Kelly realized our Homestudy expires Feb 21!  So what does that mean?  A quick call to New Beginnings in Tupelo answered that question:  updated medicals, updated fingerprints, updated background check, updated police checks, updated child abuse registry, updated vet records, updated W-2's, letters of employment, DL, SS, Doctor letter...and $740 fee.  Hmmmmm.  Ok, so I hit the ground running Thursday and Friday. I filled out all of the forms that I could to give permission for all of these agencies to investigate us again, got our son to sign his when he got home from college this weekend, and mailed those off Monday.  Called and made appointments with our doctors to get a TB test, HIV and RPR bloodwork.  Called the vet and got vaccination records.  Emailed copies of our SS & DL's to NB.  Completed Michaels medical on Wednesday.  Mark and I go get our bloodwork and TB updated Friday morning, then drive to Raymond, pick up Michael when he gets out of class, and then to an FBI center in Flowood to get fingerprinted at 3:00.  Supposedly we should have results done first of next week.  We will have a visit from Olevia, our awesome social worker, at some point in this process (Gee, add cleaning the house in there somewhere!!!!!).  But, it's all good.  Almost done...just waiting...yep, just waiting...again. 
I've been skyping with the girls quite a bit.  They are really in a funky mood.  They are fighting constantly now and Rita says she cries all the time.  She's sick with this sinus stuff again and can't breathe.  She does not want to go to school anymore.  Her grades have plummetted and she thinks that's ok because she won't need any of those courses when she gets here!  I've tried to tell her she will...she's not hearing me.  I asked if she felt that she was in an 'in between place' in her life right now... one foot in Latvia, one foot in America?  She said maybe.  I know this has got to be hard on these kids.  I know how hard it is for me to concentrate on work right now.  I'm ready to be there, but can't be yet.  You feel like a race horse at the gate, just waiting for the bar to lift so you can run as fast as you can...very frustrating because the bar seems stuck closed; but you have to stay on high alert, or when it does finally open, you will get left in everyone else's dust!  But, it's all good...  I know, or at least I hope, I'm learning something in this phase! 
I have listened to Rita's song so many times.  It's haunting.  Beautiful.  Raw.  Telling.  Sometimes I listen and it's just sad.  Other times, I feel tears whelling up inside, not because of saddnes, but out of love.  Rita told me today she was so upset because of all of the people who are dying in Eastern Europe and Russia due to this massive cold.  The high in Liepaja today was like 2 degrees F, and it's been like this for almost a week.  Other areas of Russia and Ukraine are seeing temperatures dip into the -10's.  I wonder where God will use this child...She says she wants to be a vet (and I'm getting her and Lera enrolled in Vet Camp this summer at MSU!), but I so can see her doing so much more...well, I know God will direct her path in this.  My job is to encourage her to be everything she can possibly be and listen to HIS voice.  'For I know the plans I have for you, saith the LORD'! 
So, are you wondering why I'm not mentioninig Lera much?  Remember, Rita and Lera are fighting...I haven't been able to really 'talk' to Lera 'through Rita' for a little while.  I have emailed her and I tried to skype with her this morning, but that didn't work.  I'm trying to let her know I love her very much and I haven't forgotten her.  She really is a sweet girl.  I see so much potential for her here.  I just pray God will help her understand the power her words have to inflict pain.  Blessings or cursings...I pray one day she can speak blessings freely.  I'm praying for wisdom here!  I need to do a scripture search on 'tongue'- wow!  Lot's in Psalm and Proverbs, of course!  Hmmm...wonder if Mark can do a few lessons on 'the power of the tongue'!  Oh, Honey!....
Well, the girls should be waking up now to get ready for school.  Time for me to call it a night!  It's all good...